I shall never again lament

Now it is the age of Kali. My enemies, the senses, have become very strong. The splendid path of pure devotional service is blocked by millions of thorny bushes. I'm weak and agitated. Alas! Alas! Where can I go? O Lord Caitanyacandra, if You will not give me your mercy now, what can I do? - Sri Caitanya-candramrta 6

Alas, alas! how will the desire-creeper of pure devotional service sprout in the desert of my heart? In my heart there is only one hope. I shall call out the name of Lord Caitanya. Then I shall never again lament. - Sri Caitanya-candramrta 43

nama-krpa - The mercy of the holy name

O Lord! Be merciful and appear on my tongue in Your holy name; dance there constantly, O Lord! I fall at your lotus feet and beg You.

Your may keep me in this world or take me to Your abode as You please, but whatever You do with me, feed me the divine nectar of Your names.

You have descended to this world to distribute the holy name, so kindly also consider me one of those You intended to bless.

I am the most lowly, whereas You are committed to the uplift of the lowest; this is our eternal relationship, O Savior of the fallen!

On the strength of this unbreakable connection between us, O Lord, I beg You to shower me with the nectar of the holy name. - by Haridasa Thakura from the Harinama Cintamani, 11.53-57

The meaning of Hari - by Gopal-Guru Gosvami

By chanting the name Hari, all sins are harati (destroyed). Just as fire burns even when one touches it accidentally, so if a person accidentally chants the name of hari, then all his sins are burned up. This name reveals the Lord's real form, with all his bliss and knowledge, and thus destroys ignorance and its effects. This is the meaning of the word Hari.

Or, the word Hari can mean He who takes away (harati) the three miseries of material existence from all living entities.

Or, Hari can mean He who attracts (harati) the minds of all living entities when they hear about His transcendental qualities from a guru.

Or, Hari can mean He who attracts the minds of all avatars and all people by His sweetness and beauty, which is greater than that of millions of cupids. The word hari becomes hare in the vocative case (the form of address).

Or, according to the Brahma-samhita, the person who attracts the Lord's mind by Her ideal love, Radha, is called Hara. In the vocative case, Hara becomes Hare.

ugly me

my ego is a lie. i have built it for a life time. my son looks at me and my ego starts to unravel. my lies are becoming exposed. i envision a person that i want him to be. but who is the person that he sees? is who he sees who he becomes? is who he sees who i see in myself?

now, 40 years into it, my ego is unraveling, unable to stand up to the eyes of an inocent child. my ego is built of sand, i have just been careful to protect it.

Bugs fly over my head

I lay in the grass, small bugs fly over my head. They are so busy. They have so much to do and say to each other.
Above the bugs the birds fly over the trees. They are very busy chatting, collecting, building, defending. They have so much to do, so much to say!
Above the birds I see a plane. Its full of people, very busy people. Chatting, working, thinking, moving here and there. Busy, busy people.
Above the plane is a space station. Housing very smart, very important people, doing very important test and experiments. Changing the world with their discoveries.
Way down here, down with my back on the ground, laying in the grass, looking up to the sky, I have no one to talk to and nothing to do!
I like it this way.

Breakfast with Uncle Jim

There is an old saying that, "A dog can be the King until you throw him a bone". Meaning a person's true nature will over come a facade, eventually.

This morning, over a cup of coffee, I said, "looks like Obama is leading the race". Uncle Jim's response was, "A black Muslim as President? That is the devils work. Obama is the devil incarnate".

This is one of the bad points in a democracy. A Stupid person's vote counts the same as everyone else's. Uncle Jim will not vote because he has identified a qualified candidate to defend the constitution, but rather whether he thinks they are the devil or not.

A night with Uncle Jim

I spent the evening sitting out in the back yard next to a little fire speaking with my wife's uncle. We burnt wood, grass clippings and pizza boxes and talked about human rights. Uncle Jim is a guard in a prison that holds 17,000 prisoners and I asked him all the questions you every wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

According to uncle Jim, if you don't want to get raped, join a gang, especially if you are good looking or wimpy. Don't get a tattoo in prison even if you have your own needle, unless you already have AIDS or Hep C. Why? The tattoo artist will usually prick himself with the clean needle just to contaminate it and infect you. If you are a Vegan (like me) you can get a special meal, meat and dairy free. And if you don't want to go to jail, while in prison, a place where you are served your meals through a doggy door and you get a shave and a shower once a week, don't smoke weed or drink buck, a fermented drink made from sugar and fruit juice. Oh and don't plan on reading anything if you are an Atheist. The only literature that they pass out is religious.

Getting raped is wrong, of course, but that is a problem with the prisoners. Drugs and diseases again are prisoner issues. But only offering religious literature seems wrong. I mean the bible, Koran and other books are OK, but what is the point? They want prisoners to take up religion, because they are going to be less violent or better people? The last time I looked the non-violent, easy going people are not those that think through the words of a single book or faith. I would rather manage a room full of educated atheist then narrow minded religionist any day.