A night with Uncle Jim

I spent the evening sitting out in the back yard next to a little fire speaking with my wife's uncle. We burnt wood, grass clippings and pizza boxes and talked about human rights. Uncle Jim is a guard in a prison that holds 17,000 prisoners and I asked him all the questions you every wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

According to uncle Jim, if you don't want to get raped, join a gang, especially if you are good looking or wimpy. Don't get a tattoo in prison even if you have your own needle, unless you already have AIDS or Hep C. Why? The tattoo artist will usually prick himself with the clean needle just to contaminate it and infect you. If you are a Vegan (like me) you can get a special meal, meat and dairy free. And if you don't want to go to jail, while in prison, a place where you are served your meals through a doggy door and you get a shave and a shower once a week, don't smoke weed or drink buck, a fermented drink made from sugar and fruit juice. Oh and don't plan on reading anything if you are an Atheist. The only literature that they pass out is religious.

Getting raped is wrong, of course, but that is a problem with the prisoners. Drugs and diseases again are prisoner issues. But only offering religious literature seems wrong. I mean the bible, Koran and other books are OK, but what is the point? They want prisoners to take up religion, because they are going to be less violent or better people? The last time I looked the non-violent, easy going people are not those that think through the words of a single book or faith. I would rather manage a room full of educated atheist then narrow minded religionist any day.